WAG-a-bonds!

Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole’s Surrey mansion was recently broken into; police are convinced the theives were only after her wedding rings, worth 2 million pounds. Perhaps the thieves thought the rings were a steal because they’d be lying around the house, discarded as they were by the wife of footballer Ashley Cole following his latest sexting and infidelity allegations .
Ironically, one of the square cut diamond rings was gifted to her by Ashley in 2008 when rumours of his affair with hairdresser Aimee Walton surfaced. Cheryl’s jetsetting around the world without her rings, and the chatteratti are convinced that this time, they’re truly heading towards splitsville. Or are they?

Welcome to WAG land, the Wives And Girlfriends club of English premier league footballers. They’re gorgeous, stick up for felli WAGs and spend most of their time wearing the aggrieved look of the tragedy-struck but just-holding-on-diva, who decides to give her philandering footballer love-rat of a husband/boyfriend one ‘last’ chance for the gazillionth time. But then, in British football, once you’re good on the field, you’re a demigod off it too, where female fans can do anything from falling all over you to taking their tees off to show their appreciation. And which demigod doesn’t like a little hero worship?

After Ashley’s not-so-innocent sessions with the hairdresser too, Cheryl had denied her rocks the prized position of her ring finger; but the Coles eventually kissed and made up. The missus generously forgave her fella, defending the Chelsea defender by the logic, “I’ve had enough knocks in the past to know what the circumstances are.” But now, she’s had enough of the circumstances, or of the knocks maybe.

Perhaps Cheryl would like it if Ashley quit Chelsea. Reason? Taking no chances after Chelsea skipper John Terry’s locker room romps with French lingerie model Vanessa Perroncel, Cheryl broke all contact with former friend and co-WAG Vanessa, fearful that her own husband could’ve been one of the French maneater’s conquests. But precaution isn’t always a hundred per cent safe, is it? Ashley’s not just being accused of cheating on Cheryl with a blonde secretary, but of also bombarding a topless model with sex texts and naughty photos of himself. A distraught Cheryl, leaning on the WAG sisterhood for succour, has been offered a place to stay by Queen WAG Victoria Beckham in her LA house, while she battles to make a decision about her husband, who’s “stupidity she’s tired of,” according to a friend.

Chelsea’s the football club that’s churning out headline after headline these days, but for exploits of another kind. And John Terry has just given a whole new meaning to the term ‘team captain.’ The ex-England captain’s most watched goal was perhaps his French kiss (and of course, much more) with crème brule Vanessa Perroncel. Involved in a string of racy affairs quite as a matter of habit before, but forgiven each time by wife Toni Poole, Terry’s liaison with the underwear model supposedly was a shocker because of wannabe WAG Vanessa’s history. As ex-lover of Terry’s friend and Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge, she’d also been ‘best friends’ with Toni – shopping, holidaying and getting fake tans together. Apparently, Terry stabbed pal Bridge in the back by bedding his former fiancé, but then the press also began to reveal other conquests by Mademoiselle Perroncel. At last count, the grand total had been seven Chelsea footballers – married and not. Maybe she was looking to make her own football team, but Vanessa, believed to be having a lifetime ambition of being a super WAG, and eventually marrying a footballer, denied the torrid Terry thing-together. The media savvy lass, who was being offered as much as 2,50,000 pounds by a tabloid for a tell-all version, hired PR royalty Max Clifford to manage the debacle.

Toni, meanwhile, in the picture perfect role of prima WAG and pained wife, flew off to Dubai to nurse her bleeding heart. Despite Terry’s sacking as England team captain by boss Fabio Capello, things seem to be ending on a happy note. Toni decided to forgive hubby dear ‘one last time,’ whatever that means, while Terry doled out 400,000 pounds to keep Vanessa from singing out their love duet to the press.

Victoria Beckham, hailed unanimously as the Queen of WAGs, had her own rival WAG episode to deal with. David Beckham moved from Manchester United to Real Madrid, and Posh made her displeasure apparent at this change in countries by being seen spending most of her time (read shopping) in New York and England. Enter comforter WAG Rebecca Loos, Beckham’s personal assistant in Madrid, whose main duties were to take footballers in and out of parties. In between the party hopping, Loos and Beckham were alleged to have had amused each other between the sheets with equal gusto. Posh denied that it had ever happened, but Rebecca had already blown the whistle. Loos was dubbed by the press as the ‘Sleazy Senorita,’ and went on to become a successful reality TV star; Beckham was said to have bedded many other women in Spain to occupy his time. Maybe it would’ve done Posh good to have checked out some boutiques in Madrid.

Meanwhile, true to her role of Queen WAG, she’s always tops when it comes to lending support to other cheated-on footballer wives. Victoria’s latest shrink session is now on with Toni, who is seeking Posh’s advice on whether to forgive and forget, or to boot the brute-of-a-husband out. Start a training bootcamp for rookie WAGs, wotsay, Posh?